Rickventure
by Insane Guy of DOOM
Summary: When a scientist bent on rebuilding Black Mesa steals an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, there's only one core, and two co-op test bots, man enough to get it back: Rick the Adventure Sphere! Sequel to Being Human.
1. The Theft

While this story is technically a sequel to Being Human, it's more of a spinoff. Chell and Wheatley will only appear very briefly, and the main storyline will deal with Rick, ATLAS and P-Body.

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><p>Rickventure<p>

Prologue

It had been five years since a dangerous mute lunatic and Aperture Science Personality Construct that was also the dumbest moron that ever lived joined forces to destroy Aperture's AI mistress, GLaDOS. It had been about four years, eleven months and twenty-five days since GLaDOS made what she still insisted was the tremendous mistake of putting the aforementioned moron in his old human body in an attempt to covertly study humanity. Eventually thought, things had worked themselves out and everyone seemed to be happy. GLaDOS and the dangerous not-as-mute-as-previously lunatic were even on not-trying-to-murder-one-another terms.

It was because of those very same not trying to murder each other terms that GLaDOS did not bother checking who had entered the secret shed entrance to the Enrichment Center. Only two people knew of its location, and only one ever went there. As the lift finished its descent GLaDOS turned around to face her guest.

"I'm surprised that you managed to waddle your way here, with your current condition." GLaDOS remarked sarcastically as the figure stepped out. Her optic widened in shock, and thought she would never admit it, a small bit of fear. "You're not Chell..." The man smiled and spoke four words that changed Aperture's history forever.

"This sentence is false." GLaDOS began to blink rapidly and twitch, then suddenly her chassis went limp and her optic dimmed. The man knew such a simple paradox wouldn't be able to kill the AI, she'd reboot in about an hour, which meant he had to get to work right away.

GLaDOS came back online exactly one hour, forty-five minutes and 17 seconds later. She scanned every section of the Enrichment Center, even sent the co-op bots down into Old Aperture to search for the intruder, but she could find no trace of him. Even worse nothing had been recorded while GLaDOS was offline so there was no security footage of the man post saying his paradox either. She reviewed those few seconds of footage several times before noticing something horrifying. The man had the unmistakable logo of Black Mesa on his jacket. But Black Mesa had been defunct since the resonance cascade. _Not any longer,_ GLaDOS thought bitterly. Black Mesa resurfacing was very, very bad.

Once ATLAS and P-Body finished their search it was clear the intruder had left, so instead GLaDOS began to take inventory in case something had been stolen. Aperture Science's technology _could not_ be stolen again, Black Mesa had gotten rich of thefts of their imperfect inventions and it would not be repeated. To the AI's relief everything seemed to be accounted for- except; _Oh no_, GLaDOS thought. One Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device was missing.

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><p>As with the last story, I will be asking questions and the winners will be receiving cameos. For this first one: the first person to correctly guess what "condition" Chell has that GLaDOS is referring to wins.<p> 


	2. The Call

Chapter 1: The Call

All Aperture Science Personality Constructs received a constant stream of power from their management rails, however this only provided the bare minimum amount of electricity needed to keep them running 24/7. So to ensure that the cores were always at top efficiency, each 'night' they would retire to a specified docking bay to charge. It was here that one core currently lay, defragmenting as his batteries were filled up. A small meter next to the docking bay displayed his battery level at ninety-nine percent. Suddenly the meter changed to one-hundred and beeped, causing the core inside to slowly stir, opening his optic shutters. His optic flashed to life, a bright green with an odd pixel-pupil. A claw descended from the ceiling and removed the core and attached him to a nearby management rail. Now fully awake he began to sing while speeding through the enrichment center.

"_**I reboot every morning**__**  
><strong>__**feeling awesome,**__**  
><strong>__**even though I charged in the wrong docking bay last night.**__**  
><strong>__**Ow!**_

___**Time to tear up another day.**__**  
><strong>__**The Adventure Core freaking way!**__**  
><strong>__**Like an imploding star,**__**  
><strong>__**like a burning car,**__**  
><strong>__**my style shines so bright!**_

___**Please, stop trying,**__**  
><strong>__**To handle my style.**__**  
><strong>__**'Cause you can't,**__**  
><strong>__**No you can't!**__**  
><strong>__**uhn**__**  
><strong>__**Handle my style.**_

___**Seriously,**__**  
><strong>__**quit trying,**__**  
><strong>__**to handle my style.**_

___**Unless you're a lady.**__**  
><strong>__**then you're cordially invited**__**  
><strong>__**To have a giant slice of my styyyyyyyyle!**_"

While "Rick" the adventure core was defective, he actually was smarter than some of the proper personality cores, well Wheatley, but that's not saying much. Because of this, and the fact that a dangerous mute lunatic had incinerated most of the good ones, GLaDOS had put Rick to work doing odd jobs around the enrichment center.

Several panels parted, allowing Rick to enter a small test chamber where a test subject and a second personality core were located. This core had a teal optic and was speaking in a calming voice to the test subject. She was the Therapy Core, created by the scientists to give GLaDOS someone to talk about her problems rather than taking them out on the scientists with deadly neurotoxin. Unfortunately said talks ended up driving the Therapy Core insane, now she wandered about giving therapy to unwilling and confused test subjects. GLaDOS encouraged the behavior as it led to all sorts of unique psychological data, and severe mental instability brought on the core's 'help' created exciting new variables for the tests.

"Happy explosion day, gorgeous!" Rick wagged his handles suggestively and narrowed his optic shutters. The Therapy Core let out a pre-recorded sigh in response.

"I'm with a client. Now Mr. Great Zero-"

"My name isn't Great Zero, that's not even a name." The test subject responded. Rick moved up to the Therapy Core.

"Come on, there's plenty of time for therapy-ing, but personality core numbers are at an all-time low. What say you and me 'repopulate the species'? Huh? Huh?" The Therapy Core narrowed her optic shutters.

"Aperture Science Personality Constructs are created from a human personality template being uploaded into an AI mainframe, not through whatever you're implying." Rick paused for a moment to think of witty and suave comeback when GLaDOS' voice rang through the test chamber.

"Adventure Core, please report to the main chamber immediately for a special assignment." Rick's handles drooped at the announcement while the Therapy Core noticeably perked up.

"Well duty calls babe. I'll see you later." Rick attempted to wink, but having only one eye ruined the effect.

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><p>Meanwhile in her chamber, GLaDOS had called another being besides Rick. On the main monitor within her lair was the image of two humans, both very familiar to her. One was a former personality core the other a dangerous no-longer-as-mute-as-before lunatic. Of course she could just have looked through Wheatley's eyes and transmitted her voice directly into his brain, but this message was more for Chell and her companion was more of a guest.<p>

"Look at it! Huge innit?" Wheatley gestured wildly towards Chell's very gravid stomach. "She's bloody massive! Like... some kind of animal that's massive... a whale or something." Had she the capability, GLaDOS would have smiled as Chell grew increasingly angry at Wheatley's descriptions of her.

"But the best part, by far, is when you put your hand on it sometimes you can feel the little human inside moving around!" Wheatley gently placed his hand on Chell's stomach on hopes of feeling the 'little human' and Chell's expression visibly softened.

"I still can't fathom why you allowed that _moron_ to impregnate you." Chell remained silent at GLaDOS' comment. Even though she technically was no longer mute, Chell rarely spoke. GLaDOS didn't rule out the fact that her vocal cords might be imperfect and speaking may still be difficult to Chell, but she was fairly sure that it was more her being used to not talking than anything else.

"I'm not a moron!" Wheatley retorted. GLaDOS just sighed and shook her 'head'.

"You were such a wonderful tester. Think of it Chell, you could have birthed the greatest test subjects Aperture Science would ever know. Instead you've contaminated your lineage with the genes of an idiot. Your offspring will likely be unable to tell the difference even between a super-button and an aerial faith plate."

"You're just jealous that in a couple weeks you two won't be able to hang out as much because Chell and I'll be too busy being parents!" Wheatley smiled widely in anticipation. "Though, to be completely honest, I'm not quite sure how that's gonna happen. I mean Chell doesn't have any holes big enough for even a little human to fit out of, and I trust me I've checked. _Thoroughly_." Wheatley tried to wiggle his eyebrows in a suggestive manner like he'd seen people on television do but it came out looking more like his forehead was itchy.

GLaDOS made several beeping and whirrs that sounded almost like retching in response. From behind an pneumonic diversity vent spat a personality core out, which landed with a clang on the floor.

"What's the situation?" Rick asked while his optic darted about in search of danger. A panel raised up allowing ATLAS and P-Body to enter the room as well. They cheerfully waved at GLaDOS and the others.

"Excellent. Now that everyone is here I can discuss the real issue."

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><p>Congrats Great Zero for winning this cameo. For the next one, what is the "Handle my Style" song from. There are two different answers I'll accept.<p> 


End file.
